I cant get to sleep. My mind is occupied with images of this somebody. Not that its like a mental torture, but its depriving me of my beauty rest. Not that i dont like thinking about him, but it doesnt feel too right to do so. Geez, i dont know.
p.s: no, i am not in love.
I met up with Adrian last night after the family dinner. We had a good long talk by the river at Cosy Bay. 5 years of magical friendship, i love. Adrian told me that a girl shouldnt be too daring and "go after" a guy. But i remembered my sis once told me that guys these days likes girls that are initiative and make the first move.
I used to agree with what Adrian had said. So, more often than not, i hang up to sell. To the extent whereby i got stale and nobody bothers. So, i became more open minded and will at times, make the first move. But, somehow i feel that im overdoing it. And so, not stale, but an irritant.
Its so hard to just please somebody, isnt it?
Anyway, not to get off the tangent, i dont know if i should make the first move now. He isnt really the kinda guy that i would go for and be my cuppa tea, but talking to him makes me very comfortable and he left me a really good impression of himself. He's understanding and nice, been through lots of things in life, knows the best for his future, know when to be humourous or serious and yaddayaddadeh.
And i always tell people this "yes, i have really high expectations of my future boyfriend because i have high expectations of every thing in life. But when it comes to love and emotions sets in, there aint any room left for expectations. Its all about feelings and criterias would become nothing."
But you know what? I wish he gets off my mind soon and that he in my life, is just another passerby. Because im so afraid, that it will turn out to be another fiasco.
Ive had enough of such for the past 2 years. Thank you but i dont wish to go through the same thing ever again.
* yours truly.
amber.ruoxuan\\twenty\
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20051987\\single\\operations analyst @ credit suisse\\friendster*
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